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April 1, 2007
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THIS IS A FAKE CHAPTER WRITTEN AS AN APRIL FOOL'S JOKE- but some people want me to leave it up, so here it is. But it is FAKE. The real chapter 5 will be posted shortly.  Don't take this chapter seriously =)


Among the Ashes

Love me, love me
Say that you love me
Fool me, fool me
Go on and fool me
I can't care about anything but you
~The Cardigans "Love Fool"


Fake Chapter 5
The Imposter


“This is exactly what they want, you know,” Link said seriously as they dismounted their horses and unpacked some food and supplies. By dawn they were far from Bellek and both in need of some rest. “They’re looking for you, and you’re asking me to let you go walking right into their hands.” Link looked at her with genuine concern.

“No, I’m asking you to walk right into their hands with me,” Zelda replied with a wry smile. “If something’s wrong in Hyrule, with my father, we have to go back. What other choice do we have?”

“We have to go back,” Link agreed resolutely. Neither of them was eager to return to Hyrule, but knew that they could never turn their back on their home, no matter what had happened in the past. “It’s going to be dangerous, though. We don’t know what we’ll find there.”

“Well, if we turn our backs on it now we’ll never know,” Zelda replied.

There had been a time when Link wouldn’t have given it a second thought, but he was no longer alone in the world. He was far less willing to risk Zelda’s safety than his own. Despite himself be worried about her, and so he pushed once more. “We don’t even know what to do once we get there.”

“We’ll just have to figure it out as we go,” Zelda replied calmly.

Looking at her Link couldn’t help but smile. “I’ve created a monster,” he said proudly.

“You didn’t create it,” Zelda replied with a grin. “You just set it free.”

“What was that?” Link suddenly turned his head, tensing and searching the trees warily.

“What?” Zelda asked, looking suddenly worried. In the distance they would both hear footsteps and a rustling in the trees.

“Stay here,” Link said forcefully, drawing his sword and moving stealthily towards the suspicious sound. Zelda watched nervously as Link vanished into the trees.

She waited nervously, waiting for any sign of trouble. She was watching so intently she hardly noticed the rip opening in the sky beside her until the portal opened wide enough to reveal a figure she had not seen in years.

“Marth!?” she shrieked, jumping back in shock as Marth used his sword to open the portal and stepped through onto the grass beside her.

“What are you doing here?” she asked in disbelief.

“I can’t stand it anymore,” Marth said quickly, grabbing her shoulders. “Come back to me!”

“What!?” she stammered, still unable to believe what she was seeing.

“Come with me,” he said simply, taking her hand and pulling her towards the portal.

Link walked carefully, searching intently, ready to strike at any moment. Nearby he could hear the sound of someone struggling and a loud rustling of leaves and foliage. It did not take long for him to find the cause of the commotion. A young man with long golden hair was caught in the brambles struggling to free himself. He was bound in a strange restraining device and helplessly caught in the branches and thorns, unable to free himself. When he saw Link he looked hopeful.

“Can you help me?” he asked hopefully, a benign and naive smile on his face.

Link was slightly wary but the man looked harmless, and so Link consented to help him free. He used his sword to cut him loose from his bindings and the man leapt to his feet in joy, smiling broadly, the large, vague smile that gave Link an uneasy feeling.

“What are you doing way out here?” Link asked him.

“Looking for Zelda,” the man said genially. “We’re all looking for Zelda.”

“What!?” Link drew his sword in an instant, bearing down on the man threateningly. “Who are you? Who are you working for? What do you want Zelda for?”

“I’m Link!” the man replied brightly. “Ocarina Link told us to look for Zeldas, so here I am! Do you know where one is?”

Link stared back in confusion and stammered once more. “Who are you?”

“I’m Link,” the man replied once more.

Link lunged at the imposter violently and the imposter jumped out of the way, laughing boisterously. “Golly! You should be careful, you almost hit me with your sword!”

With a cry Link flew after the imposter once more, thrashing his sword and chasing him out of the trees.

“Let me go!” Zelda shouted at Marth, tugging her hand out of his, but suddenly Marth and Zelda stopped in their tracks as Link appeared through the trees chasing a strange looking man in green who ran with elongated, over-enthusiastic strides.

“Who is this?” Zelda asked in bewilderment as the strange man approached them.

“Zelda!” the strange man stopped in front of Zelda and exclaimed in glee. “I found you!” he opened his arms and tried to hug her but Zelda jumped out of the way in horror.

“Who are you?” she gasped. She looked at Link and the strange man side by side and an unsettling feeling overcame her. From their blonde hair to their green tunic to their brown boots there was something quite distressing about seeing the pair together.

“I’m Link!” the man exclaimed, the large, disturbing smile never leaving his face. “How about a kiss?”

Zelda shrieked in horror, grabbed Marth’s sword and leapt through the portal, closing it behind her.

Marth and Link were left staring at the spot where Zelda had vanished.

“What are you doing here?” Link shouted at Marth.

“Don’t start with me,” Marth shouted back. “She’s gone now and she took my sword!”

“Don’t blame me!” Link replied.

“She’s a little shy, isn’t she?” the imposter Link laughed.

Marth and Link looked at each other then turned their wrath on the imposter Link.

“Hey, fellas, you look a little angry,” he commented.

Link pointed his sword at the imposter.

Marth cracked his knuckles menacingly.

“Guys,” the imposter Link laughed nervously as Marth and Link bore down on him. Finally they lunged and the imposter Link leapt into action as Marth and Link tore after him, screaming through the trees.
APRIL FOOLS! :rofl:

I entertain myself, at least. Did I fool anyone even for a minute?

The beginning (VERY beginning) is actually a sneak peak at next weeks real chapter 5. I'm mean. I've never done a real April Fool, though and I have this whole "Prison Break Link" thing going on (notice straight jacket Link making his way towards a chapter of AtA in part 3? Sneaky me!) so, I thought I'd give it a shot. ;P hahaha!

I'd love to say I planned this all along, but this all came to me on thursday as I was thinking about what to do with part three and it occured to me that today was April Fools Day. Serendipitous! :boogie:

Well, Gottcha! Maybe... probably not ^^;

Man, I wrote this in two minutes, so I know it sucks ;)
Add a Comment:
 
:icontanoshiix3:
Tanoshiix3 Featured By Owner Nov 23, 2008
"I can't take it anymore: come back to me!!"

Whoa, Marth. o.o Loneliness gone to your head already? lol xD

Straight-jacket Link! x] Link must be thinkin' "Dude, this guy was my ancestor?! O_o"
Reply
:iconcallistohime:
CallistoHime Featured By Owner Jan 26, 2009  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Seriously XD~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ :rofl: this piece of writing is a travesty X________x
Reply
:iconlinktothelegend:
linktothelegend Featured By Owner Mar 17, 2008  Student Interface Designer
LOL i read all links go to prison so i know what u mean and its soooo funny!
Reply
:iconcallistohime:
CallistoHime Featured By Owner Aug 1, 2008  Hobbyist Digital Artist
:rofl: thanks!
Reply
:iconlinktothelegend:
linktothelegend Featured By Owner Aug 2, 2008  Student Interface Designer
=P
Reply
:iconkamilek-kun:
Kamilek-kun Featured By Owner Jan 2, 2008
I couldn't figure out which Link that was! I thought it was CD-I Link, (I can't wait to bomb some dodongos!) but when he asked for a kiss I thought it was supposed to be Link's Adventure Link, but then describing him with long Blonde hair didn't seem to make sense...

But yeah, when you called him "Straight Jacket" Link I knew who it was :P

Funny funny. Though I figured out pretty early it was an April Fools joke...
>.>
<.<
I'm clever like that.
Reply
:iconcallistohime:
CallistoHime Featured By Owner Jan 3, 2008  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Haha, wow, This chapter... :rofl: I'm always rather ashamed I wrote it when I go back and look at it. Even as a joke, CD-i Link is a disgrace!
Reply
:iconkamilek-kun:
Kamilek-kun Featured By Owner Jan 3, 2008
Oh my god yes. I'm sure everyone is deeply ashamed by that fiasco. The Zelda games that everyone likes to preted never existed!

Or do you mean about the story? I get that feeling sometimes. For a College assignment I did this funny video thing that parodies programs like sixty minutes. But when I finished it I was so embarrased about it, and didn't really want to show the class, and thought that it was stupid and that no one would laugh. But everyone did laugh, and people kept coming up to me congratulating me on the hilarious video.
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:iconcallistohime:
CallistoHime Featured By Owner Jan 24, 2008  Hobbyist Digital Artist
HAHA! I'm ashamed of the Cd-i game, the Link from it and my crappy writing of this fake chapter :XD: So much shame to go around!
Reply
:iconkamilek-kun:
Kamilek-kun Featured By Owner Jan 29, 2008
ah, so just general ashamedness.
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